Unfelling a tree
These days I see our story as a tree in a forest.
These days, I let my friends take care of me. My apartment is a clock. At this time, Juliette comes over to spend the night, at this time, Nevina puts the pot of water on the stove, at this time, Joanna makes the dinner, at this time, Philip holds my hand, and right before bed, Anthony calls me and talks me to sleep until he can hear my eyes close over the telephone. Zoe comes over later tonight, we might bead together or bake a cake. Then Rose and I are going to meet up and go dancing after. Victor and Juliette will take me out this weekend and so forth.
Last night, I biked over to Jo’s to see her and little Cassia. We made pasta together on a chitarra (Cassia would sneak strings of pasta and eat them before they went into the pot), Jo had an orange olive oil cake warmed on the stove for dessert, and I brought focaccia and a children’s book from a stoop find for Cassia. She loves rhymes right now! So safe to say “The Day The Goose Got Loose” was a hit— she would squeal and clap every time I flipped to the page about the filly being silly and the colt being bad. This book had some of the most beautiful illustrations I’d ever seen, dreams of geese in silver streams, working together in a fine-feathered teem. I made sure to take my time turning every page so we could look at every detail in the pictures nice and slow. We read all night, and sometimes Cassia would look up at me, eyes close to mine, and hold my hand or kiss my face. Blessing.
Again and again. Every morning noon and night these past few weeks have been friends and family keeping me company, being with me, being nothing and everything all at once. I am so grateful after having lived here but a year in this big city that I have such close ties. One of my nightly prayers has been let me ask for no more, it is already all here.
The sadness feels lighter now, it all is starting to remain behind me like tracks in the wet mud that start to dry. The spring is sweet! Daffodils are coming through the ground. I will be posting my spring crop plan tomorrow for you all to see it. I am so proud of it. But for now— a poem I wrote titled “Unfelling a Tree.”
